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05:21pm 26/05/2008 |
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I will be starting my 4th week at Sara's Center. Not at all a bad place to be. Friday: Dinner with the whole family after a very decent day at work. almost finished the huge project. Saturday: Made my morning meeting. Walked on the boardwalk. shopping. made a nice dinner . Sunday: reconciled. went to Jones Beach for the air show with Brenda, Lauren , Mel and George Jr. Then home to alix for dinner Monday: Made alix matzo Brei for breakfast. Went to the boardwalk. Assisted alix in washing and waxing our cars and the parents.. ( But I mostly sunbathed.. relaxed and ready for work tomorrow. summer is here. |
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08:13pm 12/05/2008 |
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1) I just begun week two of the new job. So far so good. The clients are truly special. nice co-workers. Beautiful setting.. Wysteria tree outside my office window. - I do really really really miss the residents... it is a real shock not to be there 40+ hours a week.... and change is always hard, even if it is good change. 2) My bro was here for thurs-sat and we has a nice time going to racheals Thrurs, late dinner Fri and lunch and shopping sat. 3) mothers day was awesome. got mani pedis, did some shopping. then when we got home, alix had planted 12 bamboo plants for farnie.. they are lovely. and he is awesome. we had a nice dinner all together |
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| (no subject) |
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11:42am 02/05/2008 |
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Today is my last day at TSI. Bittersweet. You see, this is so far from an office job. I work in my resident's HOME, it is such a different kind of atmosphere and role that they/I play in each others lives. I am planning on staying on per diem, and I have said so in all of my termination sessions ( which I hate/dread/loathe)... I am nervous about my new beginning. It is a new phase in my life, my professional development. It has been so long in the making. But even good change is hard to process and met with all sorts of feelings. I am excited, nervous, sad. Everything. Derrick is picking me up for lunch. I actually get a break on my last day, there are three people, which never happens! More from me later. Just making sure all lose ends are tied, that all paperwork is up to date and that all forms, lists, dates are in order for the next batter up. No small task. |
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| More From Adler |
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05:14pm 27/04/2008 |
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I. Every neurosis can be understood as an attempt to free oneself from a feeling of inferiority in order to gain a feeling of superiority. II. The path of the neurosis does not lead in the direction of social functioning, nor does it aim at solving given life-problems but finds an outlet for itself in the small family circle, thus achieving the isolation of the patient. IV. Thus estranched from reality, the neurotic man lives a life of imagination and phantasy and employs a number of devices for enabling him to side-step the demands of reality and for reaching out toward an ideal situation which would free him from any service for the community and absolve him from responsibility VI. Thus the neurosis and the psyche represent an attempt to free oneself from all the constraints of the community by establishing a counter-compulsion. This latter is so constituted that it effectively faces the peculiar nature of the surroundings and their demands. VIII. Even logic falls under the domination of the counter-compulsion. As in psychosis this process may go as far as the actual nulification of logic. IX. Logic, the will to live, love, human sympathy, co-operation and language, all arise out of the needs of human communal life. Against the latter are directed automatically all the plans of the neurotic individual striving for isolation and lusting for power. * an inward need demands the calling forth of strengthened devices* |
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11:55am 24/04/2008 |
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Today is my last major project for my MSW. I have my 40 minute case presentation and question and answer following the presentation. I just finished the literature review that goes along with it. I can't believe that I am two weeks away from being done! I am sort of excited about my presentation. I am presenting a case with major transference and countertransference issues. we will see how it goes. than afterwards I have only one paper left , processing the presentation. Than I am DONE. really done. wow. |
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Read 4 - Post - Add to Memories - Tell a Friend - Link
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11:36am 20/04/2008 |
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I am in my final Three weeks of school. I jumped the gun and got a new library card at the NEW neigborhood library ( who needs Barnes & Noble ) To preview my summer reading. I got a nice book on tape Readings of the Dali Lama on forgiveness. I also got a classic Adler- Individual Psychology - 1923. Ir is amazing how relavent his work is. Here are a few meaningful tidbits:
" comparative individual psychology- the assumption of the unity of the individual" - basically the value of taking the person as a whole, holistic. of the physical , of the mind,. of the spirit. of the environment.
" We cannot think, feel, will, or act without the perception of some goal" - that goal will be molded by our experience
" tendencies, milieu and experiences, all psychical powers are under the control of a directive idea and all expressions of emotion, feeling, thinking, willing, acting, dreaming as well as psycho-pathological phenomena, are permeated by one unified life- plan" " every marked attitude of a man can be traced back to an origin in childhood. In the nursery are formed and prepared all of man's future attitudes" " for the aim of this point of view is to gain a reinforced sense of reality, the development of a feeling of responsibility and a substitution for latent hatred of a feeling of mutual goodwill, all of which can be gained only by the conscious evolution of a feeling for the common weal and the conscious destruction of the will- to -power" " the retracing of all the nervous symptoms occurring in an individual case back to their lowest common denominator. In other words the foundations of neurosis and its symptoms have been taken over unchanged from childhood. Upon this foundation, however, has been erected in the course of years, a widely ramifying super-structure, the individual neurosis, which is not amenable to treatment unless the foundation itself is changed" " it is at this point that individual psychology can intervene to some purpose, and by means of an intensified introspection and an extension of consciousness, secure the domination of the intellect over divergent and unconscious stirrings" mood:  happy music: clarity- john mayer |
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| (no subject) |
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06:49pm 14/04/2008 |
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Today I took a job on the spot. Its Sara's Center, the only art/yoga/meditation/everything healing day treatment facility for adults with mental illness. I was amazed how beautiful it was. A Victorian House with a meditation garden in the back. Really peaceful from the moment I entered. I really grooved with the director, they offered me the job, and I took it. I just have to adjust to hcange, I am not good at that, even when it is positive. I am always fine once I start, it is just that transition time. |
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| SO HAPPY |
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07:40pm 30/03/2008 |
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I just had an awesome weekend! We just got back from the international auto show. Fun . AND I just got a letter from my prof..... I was honored as student group worker of the year award!!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
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10:18am 16/03/2008 |
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Thursday: stress abounds at work after the death of a resident. his best friend was hospitalized. We kind of saw it coming. I was spending hours with him trying to work through the pain and the guilt he was feeling. The problem is that the trauma and stress really exacerbated his psychotic symptoms. He would ask me, " is it ok to talk to God" ? and with schizzophrenics, this is a trick question. So I asked what does he mean by talk to God. the he said " well god is telling me things and I am talking back to him... Now this is not so good. Esp. when God is blaming him for the death of his friend. Persicutory stuff. really horrible. He wisely dsecided that he was over his head with this stuff. and I supported his decision and made arrangements for hospitalization. It was just sad, the whole thing. I had to pack his belongings and send him off. I just wish he could have worked through it in the comfort of the residence. But on the other hand, I am glad that he has the personal insight to know that he needed to go to the hospital and didn't do anything rash. Friday: so Friday I really needed a day away from work and I was lucky enough to find coverage. I enjoyed some shopping including a kick ass bronze bikini. I cleaned the apt. as I had been house sitting for my parents while they were in Cali. Saturday: Laundry day, food shopping, Costco , cooking, and MELODY was home from New Paltz.. she is really shining! Sunday: an open house, some time with Mel , as a family, sigh, I miss having her here! mood:  mellow |
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11:25am 02/03/2008 |
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Friday was a nice dinner with my parents and our dear friends the Heftlers who just returned from Costa Rica. Then home to bake Alix some pecan banana bread. Saturday. beware the ides of march. a resident was found dead face down in the bathroom. he was on dailysis for years. since blood was found coming from his mouth i beleive that the access port in his chest was infected and caused him to bleed internally. but i am no doctor. it took special units 6 hours to remove the body and my residents were pretty spooked. grief groups and counseling galore.memorial later in the week. he was never in pain. everyday he would say how terrific he felt. no complaints ever. and he died thinking that one day he would move on to the apartment program, digified. most likely because of his health, he would have been referred to a nursing home. it is so funny because on friday he was so excited that i was planning a discharge from his day treatment program to his favorite clubhouse. i figured at this point in his life, after 30 years of treatment in the system, it was time for him to have some fun and more relaxed days. and he was really happy. on 12am rounds saturday he was lying in bed listening to music. and then on the next rounds he was discovered dead on the bathroom floor. i think he was happy up until the end. sunday . i am helping alix with an open house and then we are going out to dinner with his dear friend. i am dreading monday. i am hoping that the residents can pull through this one. i would hate to see hospitalizations. i am just going to do my best to be available for sessions and make groups. lets keep the feelings out in the open. it is sad. it was scary. and so sudden. |
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02:53pm 24/02/2008 |
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Things have been going pretty well. I am enjoying my classes again. Possibly because this is the last semester! ( unless I decide to go streight for my DSW, the kind of crazy thing I would do). I didnt get stranded for a double on Friday after all. Alix was actually off from work so we spent the night together shopping. It was like old times. when we actually had time to enjoy each other. But , like he said last night, all the hard work he is doing now is so that we can enjoy a life together of traveling, and all the finer things. I dig that. Saturday we took Bren out to Antionettes for her birthday.. Really, really, good place by the way. Today is my usual laundry, clean up the place and cook for the first few days of the week day. and I am cool with that too. mood: happy |
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| UpDate |
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01:47pm 24/01/2008 |
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So it has been a super long time. Things are actually really good. Love my other half and all the effort and sweat he is putting into establishing himself and our fiscal betterment. I have begun my spring semester, my LAST semester of school... At least for now... Maybe a DSW is in the future, but not near future. I have three intense classes this semester, and I can handle it because it is my last semester and I am really excited about graduating in May. I mean, seriously, this is a huge accomplishment. Full time work, Internship and graduate work... I did it for two years, and I will have an MSW... and life is changing... Tonight I start my Thursday classes. I work 8-4 and will be in class from 5-10... But it is the beginning of the end, and I can handle that. mood:  energetic |
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| YaYa |
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04:24pm 14/12/2007 |
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It has been a long time since I have posted anything. Life became so overwhelming. Working in mental health, interning in mental health and going to school and balancing family. It was opressive at times. At times I felt trapped for various reasons. But I do see a light at the end of the tunnel. I offically have just one more semester until I get my MSW and I will be done with school. DONE. and life will change drastically, I see it beginning to happen all ready. There are some things that I am particularly grateful for that have remained constant supports for me. 1) I have finally found a Normal, supportive and all around amazing man that never ceases to amaze me. He is making sacrafices right now to assure the lifestyle that I and he would like to achieve. And unlike me, he does this without complaining. I feel truly blessed. 2) the person reading this right now, you know who you are. You have been in my life longer than anyone other than my parents. Seeing you every week grounds me and fills me with hope and laughter. I could have never asked for anything more in a friendship. So i guess things are on the up and up. mood:  content |
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| Re re re cap |
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09:23pm 12/11/2007 |
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Friday:
I got mountains of paperwork done at work, and I always leave feeling good when that happens
Had a nice evening with Farn... She made yummy turkey balls....
Saturday:
Bernie and Linda were at my door bright and early to leave for school
and class is not bad at all.. I like my teacher. she is down to earth and seems to have been in trenches too once, it helps.
made a turkey dinner at had the rents over to the apt. Dad said he really sees the love in Alix's eyes even when Alix is talking about the little annoiances. you know?
Sunday:
Laundry day.. and it looks like dad is gonna join GS with me.. so awesome.. I will bake my little heart out...
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| Goals |
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11:23pm 08/10/2007 |
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( of the moment) 1) Graduate with MSW - May 2) Real estate Licesnce - Some time soon after may 3) throw all self imposed limitations out the window 4) really learn to NOT sweat the small stuff and stress less... 5) maintain weight and health 6) pursue happiness and live in the moment 7) grow, grow , grow ( and I dont wean height or width) mood: content |
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| weekend |
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10:10pm 08/10/2007 |
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Friday:
ok so I had this dream that Alix got a black mustang.. totally black, totally hot... and I call to tell him this dream at around 12ish.... ( it turned out he was going to pick up this surprise car) then I get home after having dinner with the folks. I open the garage to pull in my car... and you fill in the rest!
Saturday:
october 6th and 84 degrees . i go to my meeting and Linda is celebrating 14 years, incredible. then I go to the beach with Brenda.. Full our bathing suits, walking 4 miles and sunning... fabulous.. dinner with alix... Mel came home for my dads b-day ( how f'ing sweet). so we picked her up from the train
Sunday:
massive cooking and baking in the am. then off to the boat we go.. the WHOLE family... what a day... cakes back at the house and Hal came by to wish steven a happy and healthy.. he ended up staying 3 hours discussing cars and mechanics,... he made steven a very happy man... just so nice to be togetther , all of us...I seriously love my family. mood: content |
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| Been a while update |
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09:11pm 01/10/2007 |
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My Birthday: I secluded and it was joyous. spent time with my family. Took my mama wheel chair shopping which i hope we will never have to do ever again. I got some really nice things, sparkly things, 5000 song carrying things that will bring me into the 21st century, and nifty things to wear.. in a size 4 which is even niftier! This weekend: Friday: dinner with the folks, after hectic work. I have been exhausted . Saturday: school, and waking up early, ick. then a car show and beach. home to make dinner for two of my most favorites. ( One was so grateful after two months of college food, she gave me a kiss and thanked me for an amazing meal.) I almost cried. I was just so happy to have Mel home. and she is so ALIVE! and making great choices at school and really getting involved and I am just, well, very, very proud and happy for her. It is now her time to shine. I passed out somehwere between 9 and ten pm, it was after a long visit with an old friend of Alix's... Sunday: I continued sleeping.. and sleeping... then it was time for laundry, two process recordings, a walk on the boardwalk, a picking up of Melody, a perparing of dinner and special baked goods for the family. We took Melody back to New Paltz at around 9:30 and got home at 1:15am... It's monday. I am working 4-12am... and mondays are painful.... mood:  drained music: Tori Amos |
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| (no subject) |
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07:08pm 17/09/2007 |
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Friday: After an unbelieably packed day ( moving a resident out (( both physical labor aspect and mountains of paperwork), walking student building surveyors through the entire building for renovations, monthly budget planning times 16, weekly allowance times 16, weekly progress notes and collateral contacts times 16, intake planning, 4 individual sessions, and a more than useless coworker.... I had a decent family dinner only hindered by my anger and resentment for school the next day Saturday: Bernie and Linda appeared at my doorstep around 7ish to embark upon our journey to Fordham. Alix's GPS made the driving bearable. My seminar teacher had the SAME experience that I had at FEGS and almost walked out on social work too... It was meant to be.. I am now feeling less angry and resentful about Saturday classes. Laundry and some time spent with the Silbergs Cooked dinner for Alix and enjoyed his company for a while until we both passed out from exhaustion Sunday: It was a day off! Alix took me to the city for perfume shopping, with the top down. You havent driven through the city until you have driven with the top down. Lunch together and then to the home of origin We all had a nice dinner together I am truly doing my best to work on my seasonal issues. really and truly. But truth is, I hate the cold. I hate the grey... and it is coming upon us... mood: content |
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| Shinah Tovah |
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01:35pm 13/09/2007 |
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This has really been a year of so many gifts for me. I truly feel blessed as things seem to be coming together and as I continue to pour effort into improving myself spiritually, physically, scholastically and in my career. Hoovie made such a wonder first night of Rosh Hashanah for my family and tonight is my night. I am making a full feast; Apricot chicken ( 22lbs of) , Home baked Challah Bread, 3 trays of sweet noodle Kugle and one tray of brownies, apples and honey, all for the 16 residents of my group home. It will be a sit down dinner. I scrubbed the eating area, laid out table clothes and set the table as I would in my OWN HOME. Because it is a home, and these guys deserve it, all of it. And I just cant wait to see their faces tonight as they enjoy! Good Yantif , all. mood: happy |
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