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05:21pm 26/05/2008
 
 
energybalance
 I will be starting my 4th week at Sara's Center. Not at all a bad place to be. 

Friday: Dinner with the whole family after a very decent day at work. almost finished the huge project.

Saturday: Made my morning meeting. Walked on the boardwalk. shopping. made a nice dinner .

Sunday: reconciled. went to Jones Beach for the air show with Brenda, Lauren , Mel and George Jr. Then home to alix for dinner

Monday: Made alix matzo Brei for breakfast. Went to the boardwalk. Assisted alix in washing and waxing our cars and the parents.. ( But I mostly sunbathed.. relaxed and ready for work tomorrow.

summer is here.
 
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(no subject)  
08:13pm 12/05/2008
 
 
energybalance
 1) I just begun week two of the new job. So far so good. The clients are truly special. nice co-workers. Beautiful setting.. Wysteria tree outside my office window.
- I do really really really miss the residents... it is a real shock not to be there 40+ hours a week.... and change is always hard, even if it is good change.

2) My bro was here for thurs-sat and we has a nice time going to racheals Thrurs, late dinner Fri and lunch and shopping sat.

3) mothers day was awesome. got mani pedis, did some shopping. then when we got home, alix had planted 12 bamboo plants for farnie.. they are lovely. and he is awesome. we had a nice dinner all together
 
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(no subject)  
11:42am 02/05/2008
 
 
energybalance
Today is my last day at TSI. Bittersweet. You see, this is so far from an office job. I work in my resident's HOME, it is such a different kind of atmosphere and role that they/I play in each others lives. I am planning on staying on per diem, and I have said so in all of my termination sessions ( which I hate/dread/loathe)... I am nervous about my new beginning. It is a new phase in my life, my professional development. It has been so long in the making. But even good change is hard to process and met with all sorts of feelings. I am excited, nervous, sad. Everything. Derrick is picking me up for lunch. I actually get a break on my last day, there are three people, which never happens! More from me later. Just making sure all lose ends are tied, that all paperwork is up to date and that all forms, lists, dates are in order for the next batter up. No small task.
 
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More From Adler  
05:14pm 27/04/2008
 
 
energybalance
I. Every neurosis can be understood as an attempt to free oneself from a feeling of inferiority in order to gain a feeling of superiority.
II. The path of the neurosis does not lead in the direction of social functioning, nor does it aim at solving given life-problems but finds an outlet for itself in the small family circle, thus achieving the isolation of the patient.
IV. Thus estranched from reality, the neurotic man lives a life of imagination and phantasy and employs a number of devices for enabling him to side-step the demands of reality and for reaching out toward an ideal situation which would free him from any service for the community and absolve him from responsibility
VI. Thus the neurosis and the psyche represent an attempt to free oneself from all the constraints of the community by establishing a counter-compulsion. This latter is so constituted that it effectively faces the peculiar nature of the surroundings and their demands.
VIII. Even logic falls under the domination of the counter-compulsion. As in psychosis this process may go as far as the actual nulification of logic.
IX. Logic, the will to live, love, human sympathy, co-operation and language, all arise out of the needs of human communal life. Against the latter are directed automatically all the plans of the neurotic individual striving for isolation and lusting for power.

* an inward need demands the calling forth of strengthened devices*
 
 
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(no subject)  
11:55am 24/04/2008
 
 
energybalance
Today is my last major project for my MSW. I have my 40 minute case presentation and question and answer following the presentation. I just finished the literature review that goes along with it. I can't believe that I am two weeks away from being done! I am sort of excited about my presentation. I am presenting a case with major transference and countertransference issues. we will see how it goes. than afterwards I have only one paper left , processing the presentation. Than I am DONE. really done. wow.
 
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(no subject)  
11:36am 20/04/2008
 
 
energybalance

 I am in my final Three weeks of school. I jumped the gun and got a new library card at the NEW neigborhood library ( who needs Barnes & Noble ) To preview my summer reading. I got a nice book on tape Readings of the Dali Lama on forgiveness. I also got a classic Adler- Individual Psychology - 1923. Ir is amazing how relavent his work is. Here are a few meaningful tidbits:

" comparative individual psychology- the assumption of the unity of the individual"  - basically the value of taking the person as a whole, holistic. of the physical , of the mind,. of the spirit. of the environment.

" We cannot think,  feel, will, or act without the perception of some goal" - that goal will be molded by our experience

" tendencies, milieu and experiences, all psychical powers are under the control of a directive idea and all expressions of emotion, feeling, thinking, willing, acting, dreaming as well as psycho-pathological phenomena, are permeated by one unified life- plan"

" every  marked attitude of a man can be traced back to an origin in childhood. In the nursery are formed and prepared all of man's future attitudes"

" for the aim of this point of view is to gain a reinforced sense of reality, the development of a feeling of responsibility and a substitution for latent hatred of a feeling of mutual goodwill, all of which can be gained only by the conscious evolution of a feeling for the common weal and the conscious destruction of the will- to -power"

" the retracing of all the nervous symptoms occurring in an individual case back to their lowest common denominator. In other words the foundations of neurosis and its symptoms have been taken over unchanged from childhood. Upon this foundation, however, has been erected in the course of years, a widely ramifying super-structure, the individual neurosis, which is not amenable to treatment unless the foundation itself is changed"

" it is at this point that individual psychology can intervene to some purpose, and by means of an intensified introspection and an extension of consciousness, secure the domination of the intellect over divergent and unconscious stirrings"

mood: happyhappy
music: clarity- john mayer
 
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(no subject)  
06:49pm 14/04/2008
 
 
energybalance
 Today I took a job on the spot. Its Sara's Center, the only art/yoga/meditation/everything healing day treatment facility for adults with mental illness. I was amazed how beautiful it was. A Victorian House with a meditation garden in the back. Really peaceful from the moment I entered. I really grooved with the director, they offered me the job, and I took it. I just have to adjust to hcange, I am not good at that, even when it is positive. I am always fine once I start, it is just that transition time.
 
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SO HAPPY  
07:40pm 30/03/2008
 
 
energybalance
 I just had an awesome weekend! We just got back from the international auto show. Fun . AND I just got a letter from my prof.....

I was honored as student group worker of the year award!!!!!
 
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(no subject)  
10:18am 16/03/2008
 
 
energybalance
Thursday: stress abounds at work after the death of a resident. his best friend was hospitalized. We kind of saw it coming. I was spending hours with him trying to work through the pain and the guilt he was feeling. The problem is that the trauma and stress really exacerbated his psychotic symptoms. He would ask me, " is it ok to talk to God" ? and with schizzophrenics, this is a trick question. So I asked what does he mean by talk to God. the he said " well god is telling me things and I am talking back to him... Now this is not so good. Esp. when God is blaming him for the death of his friend. Persicutory stuff. really horrible. He wisely dsecided that he was over his head with this stuff. and I supported his decision and made arrangements for hospitalization. It was just sad, the whole thing. I had to pack his belongings and send him off. I just wish he could have worked through it in the comfort of the residence. But on the other hand, I am glad that he has the personal insight to know that he needed to go to the hospital and didn't do anything rash.

Friday: so Friday I really needed a day away from work and I was lucky enough to find coverage. I enjoyed some shopping including a kick ass bronze bikini. I cleaned the apt. as I had been house sitting for my parents while they were in Cali. 

Saturday: Laundry day, food shopping, Costco , cooking, and MELODY was home from New Paltz.. she is really shining!

Sunday: an open house, some time with Mel , as a family, sigh, I miss having her here!
mood: mellowmellow
 
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(no subject)  
11:25am 02/03/2008
 
 
energybalance
Friday was a nice dinner with my parents and our dear friends the Heftlers who just returned from Costa Rica. Then home to bake Alix some pecan banana bread.

Saturday. beware the ides of march. a resident was found dead face down in the bathroom. he was on dailysis for years. since blood was found coming from his mouth i beleive that the access port in his chest was infected and caused him to bleed internally. but i am no doctor. it took special units 6 hours to remove the body and my residents were pretty spooked. grief groups and counseling galore.memorial later in the week. he was never in pain. everyday he would say how terrific he felt. no complaints ever. and he died thinking that one day he would move on to the apartment program, digified. most likely because of his health, he would have been referred to a nursing home. it is so funny because on friday he was so excited that i was planning a discharge from his day treatment program to his favorite clubhouse. i figured at this point in his life, after 30 years of treatment in the system, it was time for him to have some fun and more relaxed days. and he was really happy. on 12am rounds saturday he was lying in bed listening to music. and then on the next rounds he was discovered dead on the bathroom floor. i think he was happy up until the end. 

sunday . i am helping alix with an open house and then we are going out to dinner with his dear friend. i am dreading monday. i am hoping that the residents can pull through this one. i would hate to see hospitalizations. i am just going to do my best to be available for sessions and make groups. lets keep the feelings out in the open. it is sad. it was scary. and so sudden.
mood: indescribable
 
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